Dear Bronco…

It is only 10:30 in the morning and already I’ve composed about a thousand notes to Bronco in my head. It’s going to be a long day.

Dear Bronco,
Even though, most of the time, I love your need to cuddle, I do not appreciate being awoken by your massive skull landing on my face.
Sincerely,
My concussion

Dear Bronco,
Neither you, nor I, are very small creatures so the likelihood that we can share this chair comfortably is slim.
Sincerely,
My ass

Dear Bronco,
Please stop letting Ninja hump your face. It is disturbing for all parties.
Sincerely,
The universe

Dear Bronco,
Please stop licking Ginger’s ears. It may seem like she enjoys it in the moment but once it gets sore she doesn’t and I don’t like having to deal with the constant ear infections.
Sincerely,
Ginger’s ear canals

Dear Bronco,
Just because Ninja puked on you doesn’t mean that you should pee on her.
Sincerely,
My sanity

Dear Bronco,
Just because I’m aggravated that you peed on Ninja does not mean that I wish you to clean it off of her.
Sincerely,
We have towels and a bath for that

Dear Bronco,
I understand you dislike getting a bath but trying to crawl into my lap when a.) I’m not sitting and b.) I’m currently trying to rinse shampoo off of you, is not the answer.
Sincerely,
I need a nap

Dear Bronco,
Remember how we discussed how you aren’t a small creature? Yea, lunging at me with that large body is not the best way to get me to feed you.
Sincerely,
My empty bottle of Tylenol

Dear Bronco,
I think it’s time we just give up, call it a day, and go back to bed.
Love,
Me

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Just your average tuesday night.

Hanging out with my freshly sprained wrist (thank you ridiculously difficult to turn water shut off valve thing) and wasting time taking Internet quizzes.

Not surprisingly, I’d be in ravenclaw.


Which Hogwarts house will you be sorted into?

Other than that, just trying to stay cool with ceiling fans (it is really warm here right now, especially in this house) and reading about constructing plot.

In other words, just another Tuesday!

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I love the internet.

So here I am- sitting, watching/listening to Modern Family, trying to think of a topic of a post (I’m working on one involving my best friend’s hatred of pork but that needs finessing) and I’m stuck.

Of course I turn to the internet.

I found a list of writing prompts and even though I don’t know the person/machine that generated this one, they clearly know me, and my mother.

…..5 quirks I like about my mother…..

Oh Mawtha, this is going to be fun.

1. Her proclivity for pluralizing. Example- as kids she would ask us to clean our rooms and when it wasn’t done she would come and point out things that we had missed. For this example let’s imagine that there is a hanger in the floor, a shirt hanging on a chair, and a book in the floor. My mom’s reaction would be to say “There are hangers everywhere! Shirts on every chair in here! Books all over the place!”

She has done this for as long I’ve known her and it has never ceased to be funny. I would not suggest laughing while she’s mad though, it never helps the situation.

2. When talking to her, she will mimic your facial expressions. It is especially hysterical when you are telling a funny or sad story.

3.  She always tried to not let us see her laughing at us by hiding behind a napkin. Because  it is perfectly normal dinner table behavior to cover one’s face with a napkin and shake while occasionally letting a snort escape. Totally fooled us.

4. Her overreactions to little things are a sight to behold. Example- she and my sister flew into Atlanta to visit Georgia Tech back when my sister was considering grad school. I went up there to pick them up and we were going to go to the CNN Museum before we headed down south.  I pulled into the parking lot and as is custom with many pay lots, I rolled my window down to grap the ticket thingie. I don’t think to roll my window back up until we park. Now it is summer time in Georgia, so it was a wee bit hot, but but Mawtha’s reaction to this was a little bit extreme. She turned, noticed the open window, and in the most aghast voice possible goes, “WHY IS THE WINDOW OPEN?”. I would not expect her tone to be any different than if I had just murdered my baby sister right in front of her eyes. This open window? Treason of the highest order.

5. No matter how old we get, she never stops being our mom. One day I was standing in their kitchen eating something, and got a drip on my shirt. With cat like reflexes, my mom leaps across the kitchen, grabs a wet cloth, and starts cleaning my shirt. All while I stand there rather stunned that at 32 years old, my mom was cleaning me. Or when we were standing in line at something at their church and one of my sibling’s old teachers came by and asked how said sibling was doing. My mom feels the need to step in, “She’s GREAT! She’s doing this and that and oh and this and she’s just great!” My mom- a cheerleader to the end.

So there you have it- 5 quirks I like about my mother.

Good times.

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#14!!!

Roll Tide Roll

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Another edition of random thoughts.

It’s that time again! When nothing in my head is coming together in a cohesive manner so I just start listing this as they pop in the ol’ noggin. (god that totally sounds like something my dad would say)

-I think Ginger realizes how old she is getting (she’s 9 this month) because she seems to be getting into that old people/dog thing where she’s not taking anything for granted. She   has started acting like she has never and will never see me again every single time I leave the house or she goes outside. Even if it’s only for a minute. It’s insane.

- With the success of Downton Abbey, I wonder how many people at PBS are quoting “A Mighty Wind” these days. I imagine many a Lars Olfen impression has been made. I can’t even remember a time when so many people were talking about a show on PBS.

-I wonder how many apps from the “productivity” category I have to download before they start working. Let it be known- 37? Isn’t getting the job done.

- MrBunny watches way too many shows like “When women attack” and “You wife dreams of hatchet murdering your in your sleep”. I’m beginning to wonder if this is an outward expression of an internal fear or an exhibition of how little he pays attention to what is on the tv when he is working.

- I have a countdown set up on my phone to January 13th when Beauty and the Beast returns to theatres. I have a feeling I won’t be the only 30something woman in there squealing like a school girl when the “camera” (seriously what do you call it with animation?) flys up to the castle with that ol’ familiar piano opening.  For who could ever learn to love a beast?

- I need to get a shelf in my office so that when I get tired of looking at my screenplay that isn’t writing itself, I can see my Lego Hogwarts Castle and smile. It’s the little things in life. Or in this case, it’s the 1200 little bricks in life.

- Speaking of a screenplay, it isn’t writing itself so I need to get back to it. Until next time!

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Excuse me, will you be my friend?

So I’ve mentioned Pinterest and my love for it, numerous times before but a new and unexpected side effect has arisen from my love of the site.

In addition to the people you know and follow, you can follow anyone on the site. You can choose to follow all their boards, or just pick and choose what interests you.

Because of this, I follow a lot of people who I share interests with, but most of the time we have just that one or two interests in common.

Enter THAT WOMAN.

That’s what I call her.

You see, THAT WOMAN and I are pretty much the same person, at least as far as Pinterest is concerned. I first started following her because I searched for Crimson Tide pins and she showed up. Next thing I know, she’s posting gardening stuff, and star wars stuff, and things about tv shows I love, and legos, and more Tide, and various other geeky things, and things I would love to eat, and pretty much everything else in the world that I love.

This situation has had me questioning the new etiquette involved in the social media/always connected with at times perfect strangers world we live in today.

Is it appropriate to approach this woman? How do I go about it? Is it at all acceptable to ask this woman to move in with me and perhaps entertain me? How does that whole sister wives thing work? How do you figure out if someone would be okay with a sister wife kind of relationship? Can I hire her to cook all those wonderful things she pins? Or construct the truly incredible lego village she pinned at three in the morning the other day (OH MY GOD SHE IS ALSO A NIGHT OWL!) that would look amazing in my office next to my Lego Hogwarts Castle (a Christmas gift from MrBunny that I adore).

Would that be coming on too strong? Would it be like when I made a cross-stitch of Nancy Lopez’s face and she then tried to kill me?

I don’t know if I can suffer a heartbreak like that again.

Maybe I’ll just admire her from afar.

And dream of the day we walk into Bryant-Denny holding hands, at sunset, on gameday, eating nutella pinwheels, discussing the best time to plant broccoli in this climate, and comparing plans for our lifesize Lego homes.

Oh to dream…

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I owe it all to the South Koreans

It’s that time of year again- annual report! YAY!!!!!

I realize that there is no one who is amused by this nearly as much as I am but whatever, I  find it hysterical. How else would I know about the South Koreans? That is important information to have my friends. Very, very important.

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2011 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Syndey Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 17,000 times in 2011. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 6 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

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